Fused pastor/church
Aron and the Golden Calf
In the world
Accommodating
Others are Lord
Does what the group wants
Focuses power on enabling
Sympathetic savior to fix it
No freedom from family of origin
Seeks to live out the expectations of others with a weak unclear identity.
Others control
Powerless\
Out of balance
Weak doctrinal boundaries for the mind
Weak relational boundaries for the heart
Weak spiritual boundaries for the soul.
Weak behavioral boundaries for the body
Inclusive/pluralistic
Morally lax, cheap grace
Sexual affairs
Divided soul
Pastor/church fused with weak or no emotional boundaries
Enmeshed/fused with the feelings of others and controlled by the anxiety of others
Easily infected by the anxiety of others
Always changing (chameleon)
You & them
Triangulated relationships
Pseudo self
Need to feel safe by staying fused
Self's deepest need for community & sense of self finds a pseudo solution in fusion with others.
Authority is unknown apart from the group
Respect is unknown apart from the group
Very anxious to keep the peace at all costs
Lacks the ability to focus
Anxious over function
Out of control chaos and conflict
Reactive
No ability to form goals
Rampant Congregational henpecking
Congregational Henpecking Increases fusion by anxious leadership
No clear personal identity
No individual freedom
Low functioning or over functioning when the chaos/anxiety of others is high
Attacks a straw man image of the pastor as a professional by just being one of the folks and a weeping ‘wily’
Brother visit all & do it all.
Hail fellow well met
Mr. Glad-handler
Visible during the week, but poor in the pulpit
Polarized crowd or heard
Co-dependent
Depressed Dependent
Passive/aggressive
Passive/dependent
Compulsive workaholic
Intimate pastor/church
I Peter 5:1-3
In the world but not of it
Transforming
Jesus is Lord
Does what the Lord leads
Focuses power on equipping others
Empathetic leader
Freedom from family of origin
Seeks to live out of a focused calling with a clear identity
Self-control
Power used to build up others
Balanced
Healthy doctrinal boundaries for the mind.
Healthy relational boundaries for the heart.
Healthy spiritual boundaries for the soul.
Healthy behavioral boundaries for the body.
Mission oriented and transformational
Healthy morality, biblical, grace-based
Sexual integrity.
Undivided Soul
Pastor/church interdependent with healthy emotional boundaries.
In contact with their own feelings and those of others, but not controlled by them.
Not easily infected by other’s anxiety.
They have a healthy ability to adapt to change while maintaining identity.
I, you, & us
Freedom from triangulation
Authentic self
he Need to Feel Safe is met by healthy well balanced relationships and separatedness.
Self's deepest need for community & a sense of self is met in relationship with God.
Authority is internal but is affirmed externally by others.
Respect is both shared and earned.
Serene, at peace with themselves and the world around them. Lives in and operates from the peace of God which passes all understanding for it guards their heart and mind.
Pastor and healthy leaders are able to focus
Orderly functioning
Anxiety/chaos does not control.
Proactive
Able to form goals.
Very Little Congregational Henpecking and/or has little impact.
Congregational Henpecking is defused by non-anxious leadership.
Clear personal identity
Individual Freedom
Can function well and live despite the chaos/anxiety of others.
Combines both heart and head to live the best meaning of the word professional for he or she maintains character along with outward polish.
Pastor equips others for ministry and is focused on ministering from their strengths.
Sincere with integrity
Purposeful ministry with a
Balance of incarnation and proclamation.
Average psychological issues
Distant
pastor/church
III John 9-10
Not in the world nor of it
Escapist, other worldly
I am lord
Does things their way only
Focuses power on controlling
Callous dictator
Pseudo freedom from family of origin
Imposes expectations on others to prop up a pseudo identity
Control of others
Power used to build up self
Out of balance
Rigid doctrinal boundaries for the mind
Rigid relational boundaries for the heart
Rigid spiritual boundaries for the soul.
Rigid behavioral boundaries for the body.
Exclusive/fortress mentality
Moralistic & legalistic. law, shame, condemnation
Pseudo Sexual integrity and Sexual abuse
Pseudo Undivided Soul.
Pastor/Church with rigid emotional boundaries.
Out of touch with their feelings and the feelings of others. Attempt to control the feelings of others.
Infect others with their anxiety.
They don’t change but force others to change.
Me, Myself, & I
Triangulates others
Pseudo Self
The Need to Feel Safe is met by playing a role, keeping others at a distance, and being a control freak.
Self's deepest need for community & a sense of self is met by claiming they are special and thus can live as if they are an island.
Authority is external for it is bolstered by a position and not the character of the person.
Respect is demanded using Scripture alone.
Very anxious to maintain control of others for control equals peace with the appearance of peace and slick professionalism.
Overly focused tunnel vision
Church feels used
Very anxious control of chaos
Reactive
Impose goals on others.
Those practicing Congregational Henpecking are identified, rebuked, disciplined and sometimes expelled.
Congregational Henpecking is eliminated through manipulation.
No Individual freedom
Pastor is a church killer
Slick professionalism in the worst sense of the word for appearance is everything and personal character is not maintained.
The Reverend C.E.O.
Manipulator and Exterminator
The Executive office person
Invisible during the week and invincible on Sunday
Cult or Cultish
Narcissistic/Paranoid
Borderline-high functioning
Anti-Social
Compulsive workaholic
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